OUT Jacksonville

I am a City employee with the City of Jacksonville. I’ve worked here for more than 4 years now. I am disappointed that our HRO is not all inclusive. I have yet to come out at work to everyone. There are a few that know, but I still have to keep things quiet. I don’t get to talk about my weekends. I can’t share who surprises me with flowers. I can’t bring my girlfriend to any of our work events the way others bring their husbands/wives/kids. I am fearful that if I come out, especially in these harder economic times for the city, that I may be pushed to the short list for lay offs or fired. I cannot imagine how many City employees live and work in fear. I know someone who recently retired. He was in the closet for over 20 years for fear of being fired/demoted for coming out. I have looked for other jobs, to switch careers, so I could be in a place where I don’t have to hide who I am. 

It does not feel like the City is supportive of its GLBT community or GLBT employees. It would be wonderful if the City had a PRIDE network too. This story is all too common for City employees and is an unfortunate circumstance that many face. I would love to change this not only so I can not live in fear of losing my job if I come out but for the potential of benefits being offered to those employees with partners.  

I want to do anything I can to support changing the HRO. The mayor visited our office yesterday and said that he is welcoming ideas on how to make the City better. He has an open door policy and wants to hear all of our concerns and suggestions. When he asked for questions, I was tempted to ask if he is planning on updating the HRO.

The City also blocks all LGBT-related websites based solely on the fact that they’re LGBT. I couldn’t access JASMYN’s website, HRC’s page or other support sites. They block anything LGBT-related, but websites that are for the tea party and other extremist groups, such as a website where they were advocating to kill the president, are allowed. It hurts that even when someone needs help, we don’t have the ability to turn anywhere as City employees.

~ From Samantha

For a current list of discrimination in public accommodations, please visit the Jacksonville Human Rights Commission page.

Photo by Danielle Dressell

When did I know that I wanted to push the boundaries of gender? That’s hard to say. I remember, as a kid, having a dream that I was a boy. That I ran around the neighborhood, rough-housed, played guns-n-robbers, built a tree house, and did all the boy things that are expected of boy children. Then I woke up. For a brief moment I actually thought I was a boy, and then reality set in and I realized, “no, I’m not.”

Over time I began to accept the fact that I was not a boy, that I would never be a boy, and that I should be thankful for the body I have. In my early adolescent years I had heard about gender reassignment surgeries, hormone replacement therapies, but for me it translated to several different things: money, time, and possibly psychological counseling. It took me the longest time, but I began to accept the fact that I, a perfectly healthy female, was attracted to other females and wanted nothing to do with males (beyond the stereotypical male bonding of beer, sports, and admiration of female aesthetics).

There’s a certain connotation about what it means to be “butch” or “femme”; both negative and positive. To be “butch” meant several things (depending on the person): “manly”, “muscular”, “dyke”, “scary”, maybe even “un-attractive”. To  be “femme” meant something else: “beautiful”, “pretty”, “feminine”, “desired”. So I settled for something in the middle - “androgynous”: “ambiguous”, “middle”, “in-between”, but for me it meant something bigger - “safe”.

It wasn’t until a couple years ago when I dated someone who challenged my ideas of what it meant to be “butch” and “femme”. Even though that relationship went down in flames the after effects are still being felt. I dress more masculine now, I cut my hair super short, I wear ties (which I always loved to begin with). My own social gender experiment started turning into something more comfortable but it has also created a side effect of people staring, whispering, telling me I’m in the “wrong” bathroom and even the occasional confrontation that makes me fear for my own physical safety.

So how does this tie into Jacksonville’s Human Rights Ordinance (HRO)? Currently Jacksonville is one of the last major cities in the state of Florida that does not include sexual orientation or gender identity/expression in its HRO to prevent discrimination in housing, employment, and access. It makes me nervous when I got out to a store or restaurant and one of their employees says or does something that makes me acutely aware that they know I’m “different”: are they going to deny me service? Are they going to tell me that “my kind” is not wanted here? Are the other patrons around me going to harass me? Is there somebody here that would assist me if it starts to “get ugly”?

An inclusive HRO would be a start, it would set the precedent that everybody, not just those who identify as LGBT, are protected from being denied service at a restaurant, bar, hotel, or any public venue. I will still have to deal with the gender binary and bathrooms, but not having to worry about stopping to get food, or going to the grocery store, is one less thing for me to worry about.

For a current list of discrimination in public accommodations, please visit the Jacksonville Human Rights Commission page.